Thankfully Asteroid 2022 mercifully just passed us by - a safe 1,267,536 kilometers away - on June 13th before continuing its orbit back towards Mars. I have auditions and projects to voice, and these travesties and Armageddon-like events fray my nerves and can leave me on pins and needles wondering what will come next. I sometimes do not know what to make of this world, and it can get downright frustrating looking around and seeing all the mayhem, while trying to remain calm. You have not lived until your neighbors hear the screams and come running over to ensure you have not inserted a Q-Tip through your toddler's brain. That, dear reader, is a powerful quake: even more powerful than the rupture my 3-year-old just produced during his recent nasal swab Covid test. The earthquake in Afghanistan last Wednesday is just one more example of the fact that this little rock in space is fragile, and we who live upon it are equally fragile. Aaaaaaaaand….one more for eternal safety please.” Perhaps a degree of unattainability too, if you can muster it. “Less conversational! More booming and inauthentic please.
“No, no, no!” the Casting Director will say. Perhaps this will be the one voiceover affair where I actually am called upon to use my announcer voice. If so I would like to be the one who announces his descent please. I must survive this gauntlet if I am to provide for my family. Through all of this, I, a Voice Talent like you, am simply trying to fly down this gauntlet towards the goal of destroying the Death Star Which Causes Voiceover Oblivion, being chased and shot at by Darth Vade- er, Monster SharkLocusts. I think we need this problem, because gonorrhea by itself is the stuff of boredom. If this bothers you, I invite you to opt for the Latin alternative: Chiroptera Cacas Insanis.Īnd finally, to top it all off, scientists are now concerned about a new public health threat after a man contracted "Super Gonorrhea", which I am told is gonorrhea with a cape. Also I am talking about Jesus in this blog too, so it only makes sense that I balance things out with a little foul-mouthery. Sorry about the profanity I usually try to avoid that in this blog, but this time I was powerless to resist. With any luck, Caitlyn Jenner will be elected President before the year is out, at which point my family will decide to just go live on the Sun, because it will be less hot and bat$hit crazy there.
The pandemic has mated with Pure Evil, and produced subpandemics with variants having sex with other variants and producing subvariants who I am told double as telemarketers: the thought being that if they do not get you in your body, they will get you at dinnertime.Īside from that, celebrities are getting slapped on stage, and we just had a lovely 6.1 earthquake in Afghanistan.This has been a delightful year so far: one for the record books in terms of world peace and harmony: Hellfire WhaleSnakes wreaking destruction the likes of which this world has never seen except for in Michael Bay movies.Either that or we will be rained down upon from the heavens with either: I also think people had it right when they labeled this not 2022, but "2020-Too." Jesus should be returning at any moment. Gary Jules had it right: It is truly a mad, mad world out there. It’s The End Of The World As We Know It…And I Feel Fine.
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